"The 5 Love Languages"

Author: Dr. Gary Chapman
Genre: Health, Family, and Lifestyle
Publisher: Moody Publishers, 2010
Pages: 201
My Rating: Highly Recommend.

Synopsis: Dr. Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love.

Review: Dr. Chapman is a marriage counselor compiled this information over 30 years in the field. This is a quick read and I LOVED it. Good information. Highly recommend for anyone in a relationship. It provides insight and makes marriage less about Mars and Venus.

The book includes a questionnaire/quiz that will identify your love language, as well as your partners. The "quiz" can also be found here.

These are the 5 love languages:

Words of Affirmation:  This is the person whose emotional love language, their love tank, is fueled by encouraging words.  They feel most loved by the kind words and encouragement their partner speaks to them.  It also has to do with communicating love to them by making requests, not demands or ultimatums.  While the words spoken to one another are important in any relationship, the person whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation feels most loved by the words that affirm and encourage them.

Quality Time: The person with this as a primary love language thrives on focused attention, quality conversation where true feelings and thoughts are shared, and quality activities with shared interests.  This is the fuel for their love tank, and without it they feel unloved, discouraged, and disconnected.

Receiving Gifts:  The person whose love language is fueled by this language is not concerned with the cost of a gift, but rather the thought the giver put into the gift for them.  Gifts can be made, found, or purchased.  Chapman also discusses the gift of giving one’s self to your partner who has this as their primary love tank fuel, as the physical presence can be the gift desired most in many cases.

Acts of Service:  For the person with this primary love language they feel most loved by the things people do to show their love to them.  The implication is the acts of service which speak so loudly to them are tied to loving them, the person, not serving out of coercion or manipulation.  Sometimes gender roles or stereotypes are challenged with this language, for example, a husband who vacuums for his wife who has this as her primary language.  He does it to show his love as an act of service even though vacuuming is not stereo-typically a husband’s role. 

Physical Touch:  The person with this primary love language thrives on physical contact to feel secure in their spouse’s love.  Chapman discusses the difference between implicit (implied) touch and explicit (expressed) physical touches.

There are other "5 Languages" books in print. View them all here.